Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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