you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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