i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
