READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
