k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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