I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
