I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
