Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
