And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
