He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
