Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize