I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How does one acquire holy water?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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