I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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