Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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