You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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