drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
