But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
