I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
