so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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