She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
