Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
