Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
