I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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