It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
