I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
