i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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