She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
