Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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