you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
