Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
