She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i came on her dog
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize