I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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