420 ftw
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
