Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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