if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
