ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
