Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
