I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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