Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
