i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
