you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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