Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize