Who wears a wallet chain?!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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