i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
