Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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