my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
