wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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