SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
