Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
