Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
