the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Two words: blizzard sex
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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