I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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