its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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