she was so not down for the gang bang
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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