I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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