YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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