I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
