they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
