apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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