how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
